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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29411181">Shedding Our Shadows</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth_Harker/pseuds/Beth%20Harker'>Beth Harker (Beth_Harker)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Squip-induced mental health problems, The power of friendship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:14:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,078</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29411181</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth_Harker/pseuds/Beth%20Harker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ribbons of blood pursue Chloe down the school hallway. It’s the second to last day of junior year, and she <b>isn’t</b> dying.  The redness glistens, fizzles with energy, pixilates, disappears, then comes back.  Not real.  Chloe’s Squip trails behind her, dipping a quill pen into Chloe’s veins, writing bright red words onto a sheet of gilded parchment.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Brooke Lohst &amp; Chloe Valentine, Christine Canigula &amp; Chloe Valentine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shedding Our Shadows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ribbons of blood pursue Chloe down the school hallway. It’s the second to last day of junior year, and she <b>isn’t</b> dying.  The redness glistens, fizzles with energy, pixilates, disappears, then comes back.  Not real.  Chloe’s Squip trails behind her, dipping a quill pen into Chloe’s veins, writing bright red words onto a sheet of gilded parchment.</p><p>Chloe’s Squip is Princess Aurora, Sleeping Beauty herself.  Usually she’s not very active, spending her days napping in Chloe’s bed, only occasionally making quips about how nobody will ever rescue or cherish Chloe.  Chloe’s too much of a bitch.  It makes Chloe want to rip somebody’s throat out just to prove that she’s stronger than the technology in her brain.</p><p><i>I’m writing down the answers to your English test!  You thought you were going to study at lunch, but you’re an idiot.  On your own you’ll get a ninety-two and your parents will disown you.  I’m the only thing stopping you from disappointing them yet again,</i> Aurora rants.  <i>You should be grateful!</i> Again, she dips her quill into Chloe’s vein.  Chloe tries to shake her off, but some zitty freshman boy is staring at her.  She fixes him with a glare that sends him running.  Chloe starts running too, all the way to the cafeteria where her friends will be waiting to meet her for lunch.</p><p>Chloe sits down at the cafeteria table with what she imagines is great poise, not a weak princess waiting to be saved, but the queen of her little squad.  She surveys her subjects.  Brooke sits at her right, using a fork to outline a smiley face in her mash-potatoes.  Jenna is on her phone.  Jake is on his phone.  Christine is reading a book.  Jeremy’s staring off into the distance, his eyes shining with approximately as much intelligence as your average carrot.  Alas, Michael is also there, swaying like a bobble head doll to whatever lame-ass music he’s got on.  </p><p>“Where in the hell is Rich?” Chloe asks.  </p><p>It makes Jeremy jump, like she electrocuted him or something.  Unfortunately, Chloe doesn’t have that power.  In a world of Squip or be Squipped, she guesses she wouldn’t mind being a mean but magical brain robot.  Shame she’s a tad too corporal for the job.  Oh well.  She leans in close to Jeremy, who winces.  “Jesus Christ weirdo, just answer my question, or go back to gazing out the window and drooling.”</p><p>Brooke looks up from her potato face.  In the time that Chloe’s had to mess with Jeremy, Brooke’s managed to add golden creamed corn hair to her creation.  Now she pauses, putting a cautioning hand on Chloe’s wrist.  </p><p>“He wigged out in calculus,” Brooke whispers.  “Started talking to someone no one else could see— I think we all know who.”</p><p>Christine puts her book down.  “What happened?”</p><p>“He stabbed himself with his pen and started bleeding everywhere,” Jake whispers hoarsely.  Now that he’s looked up from his phone, Chloe can recognize the uncomfortable brightness in his eyes.  </p><p>Brooke glances from Jake, to Chloe, then back down again.  She’s drawn in her lips and drawn in her chest, so her shoulders stick out as if she’s trying to transform into a turtle solely for the sake of having a shell to hide inside.   She picks up her fork and scribbles the face off of her potato.  </p><p>“He um... had a vision,” Jeremy says.  “That his.  Um.  His Squip.  Um.  Yeah.”</p><p>That’s not very descriptive, but Brooke nods like she understands. “Final exam stress,” she says, finishing it off with a giggle so fake it hurts.</p><p>Michael slides off his headphones.  Apparently he can hear stuff when he wants to!  “Wait, why do <i>you</i> know about his ‘vision’ or whatever?” he asks Jeremy, eyes narrowing.  </p><p>“What was the vision?” Chloe asks.  </p><p>“It was... just...” Jeremy makes a gesture, like he’s miming writing down a word.  It makes Chloe’s throat tighten.  She swallows.  Fuck that. Just once, she’d like Jeremy to express himself clearly.  She’s not sold on the idea that he’d have anything worth listening to if he ever did manage it, but at least she wouldn’t have to waste time trying to decode. </p><p>“Jeremy, you’re bleeding,” says Christine.  </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>Before Jeremy can finish his sentence, Michael’s grabbed on to his wrist and is gently uncurling Jeremy’s fingers.  Jeremy’s dug into his palms with his fingernails.  It’s not bad. Not much worse than a paper cut.  Nothing like Chloe’s private blood bath that Aurora’s still using to take her stupid notes.  </p><p>“Let’s go,” Michael says, tugging Jeremy to stand up and leave the cafeteria with him.  </p><p>Chloe rolls her eyes.  “Those two,” she mutters, nudging shoulders with Brooke.  She’s still, and when Chloe looks over at her, she’s sickly pale.  </p><p>“I think Rich had a vision that his Squip was writing exam notes in his blood,” Brooke says.  </p><p>Behind Chloe, Aurora’s pastel princess pink has become ghoulish like hellfire.  She’s grinning.  </p><p>“I’ve been.. um... trying to distract myself,” Brooke says.  “But I’ve been seeing the same thing.” </p><p>“I had a dream like that,” Christine admits.  “From what I’ve read, they get stronger when their hosts are stressed out.  They’re opportunistic.  Like parasites.  I’m gonna text Michael to hook us all up with Red.”</p><p><i>I need more blood,</i> Aurora says sweetly.  <i>The real thing, if you don’t mind.</i></p><p>Chloe grips her fork so hard so thinks she might break it.  </p><p>
  <i>Yours or hers.</i>
</p><p>Chloe’s mind goes blank, her muscles working for her.  She grabs onto Christine in a flash, stabbing her fork into the other girl. Christine, perhaps too shocked to scream, backs off with a gasp, cradling her arm.  </p><p>
  <i>It’s plastic for fuck’s sake.</i>
</p><p>“It’s a plastic fork for fuck’s sake,” Chloe snarls.  </p><p>
  <i>Stop making a big deal out of it, and stop acting like the voice of reason.  You were a fucking space cadet before you got your Squip, and you’re even worse now.</i>
</p><p>Chloe repeats the words right in Christine’s face, venom running through her veins to replace the blood that the Squip has been stealing.  Chloe stands up, legs shaking.  Jake, Chloe’s Jake, is holding on to Christine, glaring at Chloe like he’ll kill her if she comes near again.  </p><p><i>Run and see who follows,</i> Aurora hisses in Chloe’s ear.  <i>Nobody will.  It’s just you and me now.</i></p><p>——- </p><p>Of course, somebody does come for Chloe.  It’s the school security officer, who brings her to the principal’s office.  Her parents get called.  It’s a blur, but Chloe understands one key fact:  No matter how much she cries, everybody blames her.  They’ve decided she’s evil and irredeemable, and that’s it.  </p><p>Chloe’s parents confiscate her phone, assuring her that she’ll see it when she turns twenty-one.  </p><p><i>It’s okay!</i> Aurora promises her.  <i>Buy some Mountain Dew at the school vending machine tomorrow.  I’ll borrow your body until you’re old enough to control your own destiny.  You can sleep until then.  We’ll trade places. </i></p><p>Chloe flops down into her bed, belly-first.  “No,” she mutters into her pillow.  </p><p><i>What if I promise to find somebody who will love you?</i> Aurora offers.  <i>Somebody better and stronger than Jake.  I’ll make him fall for you, then wake you up at his first kiss, once he’s in too deep to get away upon realizing who you really are.</i></p><p>“Maybe,” Chloe says.  What she really means in no, but it comes out as <i>maybe</i> almost against her will.</p><p>For hours Chloe’s Squip berates her, telling her that nobody will ever care about her or help her, and that it’s her own fault.  It takes out the document it has been writing.  It’s not an outline of test answers, but an outline of everything bad and wrong Chloe has ever done.  </p><p>There’s a sound behind Chloe’s window.  What is it?  A bird?  A hailstone?  She doesn’t care.  If she had a bottle of Mountain Dew she’d down it right now.  </p><p>
  <b>tap-tap-tap</b>
</p><p>
  <i>Don’t look up.  You’re too tired.</i>
</p><p>Chloe sniffles into her pillows.  </p><p>
  <b>tap-tap-tap.... SMASH</b>
</p><p>Startled, Chloe jolts upright.  Her window is broken, and a bottle of Mountain Dew Red sits on the floor amongst shards of glass.  </p><p><i>Pick up the glass and give me blood.</i> Aurora’s voice is unearthly, like something out of a horror movie.  She’s grown fangs.  Chloe runs towards the window in time to catch a glance of a figure in a red hoodie booking it down the sidewalk.  Michael?  Why would Michael help her?  They hate each other.</p><p>
  <i>It’s poison.</i>
</p><p>Maybe Michael does hate Chloe, but if there’s anything he hates more, it’s Squips. Chloe can hardcore relate. Maybe everybody hates Chloe, and maybe they don’t.  Maybe she hates them back, and maybe she doesn’t.  She’s so scared and so angry that she doesn’t know how she relates to anybody else anymore.  All she knows is that if she wants to find out where she stands, she has to be herself.  Ignoring Aurora’s protests, she picks up the bottle of red and drinks.  </p><p>—— </p><p>When Chloe wakes up in the hospital, Christine and Brooke are at her bedside.  </p><p>“How’re you feeling?” Brooke asks.  </p><p>Chloe winces.  God, her head hurts.  Aurora is nowhere to be found.  “Why’re you here after everything I did?” she asks.  </p><p>“We’re your friends, silly,”  Brooke says, brushing Chloe’s hair out of her face.  The tenderness of the gesture almost makes Chloe cry.  </p><p>“Don’t worry,” says Christine.  “I told your parents why you really stabbed me.”</p><p>“You <i>told</i> them the Squip took over my brain?  I’m sure you meant well, but are you trying to get me sent away to some kind of boarding school for crazy people?  They won’t hesitate.”</p><p>“I told them we were running lines for the play we’re putting on this summer, and it got a little out of hand.” Christine winks at Chloe.</p><p>“A play. I’ve never been so grateful that mom and dad don’t know shit about me and what I like.”  </p><p>“Aww, Chlo...” Brooke coos.  Normally Chloe would tell her to quit it, but it’s nice to know that somebody cares about her dumb problems, especially after a night of listening to her Squip tell her that nobody ever would.  </p><p>“What about Michael?” Chloe asks.  </p><p>“He’s observing Jenna and Jake,” Christine says,  “Neither of them have been seeing their Squips, and he doesn’t want to waste red on them if they aren’t, but her wants to be sure, y’know?  I think the Squip worked its way in deepest with you.  Well, you and Rich.  You’re the only two who ended up in the hospital after taking Red.  Brooke and I had headaches.  Jeremy passed out for a few minutes.  You’ve been out for a couple of days.” </p><p>Chloe exhales through her teeth.  “Is that how it works?  Can the Squips just come back at any time?  Why was mine so much worse than anybody else’s?”</p><p>“I think it has to do with how well you take care of your mental health,” says for Christine.  </p><p>“And whether or not you ask for help when you need it, instead of waiting till it gets really bad,” Brooke adds.  </p><p>“I’m not... good at that,” Chloe admits.  </p><p>Christine pats her hand.  “You’ll just have to practice.”</p><p>“You have friends who love you,” Brooke encourages.  </p><p>“Come on,” says Christine, clasping her hands together.  “Practice!  Ask me to do something helpful.” </p><p>“Um...” Chloe looks around her.  The movement makes her a little nauseous.  “Could you shut the lights off for me?” Chloe asks.  </p><p>Christine does, with a bow and flourish that Chloe would usually make fun of her for behind her back.  Aurora wasn’t wrong in pointing out that Chloe was a faulted individual, but right now she wants to do better.  </p><p>Brooke, still at Chloe’s bedside, places a kiss on her forehead.  Chloe’s heart feels like it might stop.  Then, Christine does the same thing.  </p><p>“Get some sleep, okay?” Brooke whispers.  </p><p>Chloe makes a sound that might be a laugh or a sob.  She’s not sure.  “I feel like I’m just waking up.”</p><p>Brooke takes a seat next to Chloe, running her fingers through her hair.  Christine holds Chloe’s hands.  As she drifts off, Chloe makes a list of things to do when she gets out of the hospital, not written in her blood, but stored in her heart nonetheless.  She’ll thank Michael, and apologize to Jeremy.  She’ll try to be a friend to Christine, and a better friend to Brooke.  She’ll listen to Jenna and... figure things out with Jake.  Chloe has so much to do!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Inspired by this song: </p><p>https://youtu.be/OoDUZvpjTyo</p><p>Comments are incredibly appreciated.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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